Chickenology Encyclopedia

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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it should be).

Z

Red Zac:

• So what?

Zathras (Babylon 5):

• If chicken cross road, chicken die. If chicken not cross road, chicken also die. Either way, is bad for chicken.

J Mao Zedong:

• The shortest distance between two points is the road of least resistance.

Zeno of Elea - The Skeptic:

• To prove it could never reach the other side.
• The chicken can never reach the other side because there are an infinitessimal number of segments between him and the other side.

• Did she really cross the road? How can you be certain?

The Zohar:

• Rabi Pinhas was on his way to visit his daughter, the wife of Rabi Shimon bar Yochai. On the way, he encountered a chicken crossing the road, and he heard the sound of a cow. He said: There are no cows in sight. The chicken answered him: I am a cow, I am crossing the road to Yerushalayim, so that I can be offered up as an olah. Rabi Pinhas responded: Would that I could offer you as an olah, for your fragrance would rise directly to the ein sof. But, alas, cows don't have feathers.

Zoot:

• Because we are eight score blonds and brunettes and we ~are~ so lonely...

Zoroaster:

• Every chicken must cross the road. The righteous chicken will go directly to paradise. The wicked chicken must first be purified in Hell.
• To attain its eternal reward in Heaven by supporting Ahura-Mazda in his battle against the powers of evil.

Carl Zwanzig:

• Duct tape
• A chicken is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

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