Chickenology Encyclopedia

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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it should be).

R

R2D2 (Star Wars):

• Beep beep be bop.
• beep bleep be deep birp whirrrrrrrrr!

Rabbi - Israeli Ashkenazi Chief:

• There can be no answer to this or any other question until this government increases allocations to the yeshivot immediately, fires Shimon Shetreet, and ends all archeological digs...

Rabbi - Israeli Sephardi Chief:

• There can be no answer to this question until I consult with Arye Deri. He's awaiting a jail sentence for fraud? err, let me get back to you...

Rabbi - Lubavitcher:

• We await the coming of the chicken.

Rabbi - Orthodox:

• A very interesting sh'eyla. There are many different halachic opinions on this vital question for our time. In my tshuva I shall review the opinions of the tannaim, amoraim, rashi, ralbag, ramban, rambam, the ger, the gor, the grib, the grilbag, the grandpa, grodzinskis, my grocer, jerry garcia, and heilige harav hagaon hashlita rebbe mashiach mendel shneerson...zt'l.

Rabbi - Reform:

• Because it wanted to; in the modern era we all have autonomy, including chickens. And if any "orthodox" institution attempts to stop chickens crossing the road we will protest at this outrageous infringement of religious, civil and poultry freedoms...

The White Rabbit:

• It was late!

Yitzchak Rabin:

• We must give the street to the downtrodden and oppressed Palestinian people. Let all settler chickens who are tired of spinning like propellers in the wind therefore cross back to this side of the road.

Ramban:

• Really the chicken didn't have to cross the road: this was G-d's allowance for the weakness of human nature. In the time of the mashiach chickens will no longer have to cross the road.

Ayn Rand:

• The chicken crossed the road in order to get away from the flock that is stifling his creativity.
• If not for the intransigently independent vision of that first chicken, none of the other chickens would have been able to cross the road. And they condemned him for his achievement!
• A chicken's first duty is to itself. And only by living for itself is it able to achieve the things which are the glory of chickenkind. Such is the nature of achievement.
• Every chicken crossing was made in the name of an altruistic motive. Has any act of selfishness ever equalled the carnage perpetrated by disciples of altruism?
• It was crossing the road because of its own rational choice to do so. There cannot be a collective unconscious; desires are unique to each individual.

Otto Rank:

• As a rejection of the separation anxiety resulting from the birth trauma of leaving the eggshell.

Ahmad Rashad:

• Here's our trusty NBC camera crew, on the trail of heartwarming sports news for "Inside Stuff." Today's topic: Young chicks cross the road.

Rashi:

• THE chicken:[ie: without the definite article this might be any chicken, but THE suggests a particular chicken]; there is a midrash that this is the first chicken created in gan eden. A second opinion: poulez [old french]...

Rasputin:

• She did it under my control and orders.

Ronald Reagan:

• I forget.
• I don't recall. What was the question?
• Ask Nancy. I forget.
• Well, I forgot.
• What chicken?
• If you've seen one chicken, you've seen them all.

Wilheim Reich:

• It was an attempt to resolve repressed infantile conflicts over incestuous desires.

Western New York Retailers:

• To see the hens in Hens & Kelly's window.

R. J. Reynolds:

• It would walk a mile for a camel.

Georg Friedrich Riemann:

• The answer appears in Dirichlet's lectures.

Riker (Star Trek):

• I don't know why, but I do know how: with pleasure, sir.

Pat Riley:

• The chicken crossed the lane in less than 3 seconds, so a "fowl" should not have been called.

Rimmer:

• Aliens!!!

Ellen Ripley:

• God damn it, that's not all!! 'Cause if one of those chickens get down here then that will be all! And all this chickenshit that you think is so important, you can kiss all that goodbye!

Robert Ripley:

• In Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, a chicken crossed the road 76,392 times in one week. Believe It Or Not.

General Jack D. Ripper:

• To maintain the purity of its precious bodily fluids.

Geraldo Rivera:

• Stay tuned as a panel of chickens reveals the shocking truth.

Tom Robbins:

• Well you see, that chicken was a special chicken who was a descendent of a parrot family that once built pyramids for tourist pharaohs. This chicken liked the other side of the road whose shamanic whispers beckoned Anastasia, the parrot, like the popped cherry of a ritually consummated white wedding. That's the meaning of it all, baby!
• Few chickens get the blues, but he made it across the road skinny legs and all.

Oral Roberts:

• He couldn't raise the $10,000,000.00 so God called him home.
• And I said to the chicken:  "Put your claw on the screen! Put your claw on the screen, upon the hand of Brother Oral, and you shall be healed. Make a love offering of $50 or more, and then touch the screen. And that chicken did put his claw on the screen. And the power of God, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, flowed through me and out through that television set, and that chicken was healed *PRAISE GOD!*. And then that chicken, stricken for so many months, rose up and walked across the road. But, since he had forgotten his love offering, God never warned him about the 30 ton semi barreling down on the crosswalk...."

Edwin Arlington Robinson:

• And the chicken, one calm summer night, went across the road and put a bullet through its head.
• The chicken, born too late, scratched its head with the tip of one wing; called the road fate and kept on crossing.

Pat Robinson:

• To escape the asteroid on Gay Day.

Spider Robinson:

• Glad. Sad. Mad. What else is there?

Gene Roddenberry:

• To boldly go where no chicken had gone before.
• To boldly cross the road where no chicken has crossed before.

Carl Rodgers:

• Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?
• How do YOU feel about the chicken crossing the road?

Mr. Rogers:

• It wanted to be my neighbor!

Will Rogers, Jr.:

• All I know is what I read in the papers.
• I never met a chicken I didn't like.
• If he wishes to cross, it is his right to do so.

Anastasia Rominoff:

• To prove her royal heritage

CBS-TV's Andy Rooney:

• I could have said "Didja ever wonder why it is that the chicken crossed the road, and which road it was?" But I didn't. I did ask some turkeys, however, and this is what they said...

Theodore Roosevelt:

• Bravery is the highest virtue.
• Far better for a chicken to dare to cross the road, even though crushed by a passing vehicle, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

Pete Rose:

• 9 to 5, he doesn't make it.

Franz Rosenzweig:

• The chicken hasn't actually crossed yet, but I hope it may one day do so.

Gioacchino Rossini:

• A litttle voice she heard.

Rsabha:

• To free its soul from the entangling fetters of <matter.The> chicken is just one of a million rebirths, a necessary stage to reach the perfected state of infinite knowledge and peace each soul strives to achieve.

Ibn-Rushel:

• The experience of crossing involves a passing from a condition of ordinary raciocination over into a mystic grasp of ultimate reality.

Ann Rynd:

• For freedom and morality. He took the action to cross for his individual personal reasons and for his own self-interest irregardless of the interests of the sommunity or those around him. To do otherwise would be evil.

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