Chickenology Encyclopedia

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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it should be).

F

Fackenheim:

• We must all help the chicken across the road, whether the chicken wants to or not; to fail to do so would be to grant motorized vehicles a posthumous victory. The responsibility to help the chicken across the road is holy; it is not negotiable; it is the 615th Commandment...

Faith Hill:

• This chick is unstoppable.
• It's the pivotal moment.

Faithless:

• The road is the chicken's church.

Jerry Falwell:

• Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

Louis Farrakkan:

• The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
• It wasn't one chicken, you lying white devils! It was TEN MILLION chickens!

William Faulkner:

• The chicken, weighed down by the burden of a thousand chickens before her who in the swirling dust of the lightbespeckled dusk of far fields in the long gone time of Gettysburg and Cold Harbor and Vicksburg, picked her way through the brown and muddy road as she sought to relive the faded glory and dying dreams of Grandmother--Grandmother whose eggs were sacrificed in one swirling raid upon the General's tent one crisp October morning because Jeb Stuart was lacking coffee.

Basil Fawlty:

• Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's from Barcelona.

Sybil Fawlty:

• BASIL! Why is there a CHICKEN in my hotel?

Dutchess of Fenway:

• To get aid from the U. S. government.

Pierre de Fermat:

• I just don't have room here to give the full explanation...

Boba Fett (Star Wars):

• (Boba Fett:) What if the chicken doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me! (Darth Vader:) The Empire will compensate you if he's squashed.

Dr. Johnny Fever:

• To escape from the Phone Cops!

Richard Feynman:

• It didn't cross the road to the other side. It actually came back to where it started but was momentarily moving backward in time. .emit ni drawkcab gnivom yliratnemom saw tub detrats ti erehw to kcab emac yllautca tI .edis rehot eht to daor eht ssorc t'ndid tI :namnyeF drahciR

W. C. Fields:

• The only good chicken is a dead chicken.

Peter Finch:

• He's mad as hell and is not going to take this any more.

F. Scott Fitzgerald:

• The chicken stood at the side of the road, intent upon the green light glowing at day's end.

Sean Fitzpatrick (Former captain of the New Zealand All Blacks.):

• Yeah, full credit to the chicken, it was a road of two halves.

Fiver (from Watership Down):

• Don't you see it? The sky has turned to blood, the field has turned to fire... THE CHICKENS! DON'T YOU SEE THE CHICKENS?

Lord Flasheart:

• To dooooooooo it!.

Larry Flint:

• It was the chicken's constitutional right to free speech.

Folk Wisdom (also known as Unknown Authors):

• To show possums it could really be done.
• I don't know why everyone keeps on talking about the chicken that crossed the road. As far as I am concerned someone built a road across the chicken's path.
• On a strange road chickens cross fast.
• The chicken that pauses too long before the crossing will forever stay on one side of the road.
• The chicken that has never crossed the road says its mother cooks best.
• The grass is always greener on the other side of the road.
• Wherever there is a road there is also a chicken to cross.

Gerald R. Ford:

• It probably fell from an airplane and couldn't stop its forward momentum.

Henry Ford:

• Chickens are bunk.

Bib Fortuna (Star Wars):

• Die chicken wanga?
• The chicken must be allowed to cross!

Jean Foucault:

• It didn't. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross.

Michel Foucault:

• It did so because the discourse of crossing the road left it no choice; the police state was oppressing it.

John Fowles:

• Roosters love to cross the road because it allows them to look serious. Because it is the one thing that stops hens from laughing at them.

Dr. Frankenstein:

• Because it's alive! Alive!

Viktor Frankl:

• It was searching for meaning.

Benjamin Franklin:

• Early to cross, early to lay, makes a hen healthy with more time to play.

French saying:

• It is easy to cross the road when no vehicle comes.

Sigmund Freud:

• The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.
• The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
• A classic example of rooster envy! (Clean Version)
• A classic example of cock envy! (Rated Version)
• Your persistant dream of the chicken crossing the road indicates your desire to return to the egg.

Friedrich Froebel:

• To teach the brood

Robert Frost:

• To cross the road less traveled by.
• Whose road this is I think I know,
  His house is in the village though;
  He will not see me crossing here
  To watch his woods fill up with snow.
• I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.
• I saw the chickens gently drifting from the trees,
  Fall had stolen the last of their green
  The chilly breath of the first fall freeze
  Now to wait for the buds of the chicken in spring
• He was crossing into someone's yard whose woods he didn't know.
  He would not see the chicken there, to watch his woods fill up with snow...
• It was the road less traveled and that made all the difference.

Barney Fyfe:

• Now Andy, let me tell you a thing or two about chickens. Chickens cross roads in those other counties, but not here in Mayberry. No chicken crosses no roads in Mayberry without Deputy Fyfe knowing about it!

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