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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
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R2D2 (Star Wars):

	Beep beep be bop.
	beep bleep be deep birp whirrrrrrrrr!

The White Rabbit:

It was late!

Ayn Rand:

	The chicken crossed the road in order to get away from the flock that is stifling his creativity.
	If not for the intransigently independent vision of that first chicken, none of the other chickens would have been able to cross the road. And they condemned him for his acheivement!
	A chicken's first duty is to itself. And only by living for itself is it able to achieve the things which are the glory of chickenkind. Such is the nature of achievement.

Ronald Reagan:

	I forget.
	I don't recall. What was the question?
	Ask Nancy. I forget.

Western New York Retailers:

To see the hens in Hens & Kelly's window.

Georg Friedrich Riemann:

The answer appears in Dirichlet's lectures.

Riker (Star Trek):

I don't know why, but I do know how: with pleasure, sir.

Pat Riley:

The chicken crossed the lane in less than 3 seconds, so a "fowl" should not have been called.

Rimmer:

Aliens!!!

General Jack D. Ripper:

To maintain the purity of its precious bodily fluids.

Geraldo Rivera:

Stay tuned as a panel of chickens reveals the shocking truth.

Tom Robbins:

Well you see, that chicken was a special chicken who was a descendent of a parrot family that once built pyramids for tourist pharohs. This chicken liked the other side of the road whose shamanic whispers beckoned Anastasia, the parrot, like the popped cherry of a ritually consumated white wedding. That's the meaning of it all, baby!

Oral Roberts:

He couldn't raise the $10,000,000.00 so God called him home.

And I said to the chicken:  "Put your claw on the screen! Put your claw on the screen, upon the hand of Brother Oral, and you shall be healed. Make a love offering of $50 or more, and then touch the screen. And that chicken did put his claw on the screen. And the power of God, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, flowed through me and out through that television set, and that chicken was healed *PRAISE GOD!*. And then that chicken, stricken for so many months, rose up and walked across the road. But, since he had forgotten his love offering, God never warned him about the 30 ton semi barreling down on the crosswalk...."

Edwin Arlington Robinson:

	And the chicken, one calm summer night, went across the road and put a bullet through its head.
	The chicken, born too late, scratched its head with the tip of one wing; called the road fate and kept on crossing.

Gene Roddenberry:

	To boldly go where no chicken had gone before.
	To boldly cross the road where no chicken has crossed before.

CBS-TV's Andy Rooney

I could have said "Didja ever wonder why it is that the chicken crossed the road, and which road it was?" But I didn't. I did ask some turkeys, however, and this is what they said...