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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it should be).

Machiavelli:

	So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
	The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Marvin (the paranoid android):

	"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and you ask me why the chicken crossed the road? I could tell you, but I really don't think it's worth while."
	Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and what do they ask me? Why did the chicken cross the road? As if their pathetic cerebelums could even comprehend my answer. Chickens, don't talk to me about chickens... they're SO depressing.

Chico Marx:

Why a duck? Why-a-no chicken?

Groucho Marx:

	Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
	This morning I shot a chicken in my pyjamas -- and lemme tell ya, that chicken ran out of my pyjamas in a second!
	You try to cross over there a chicken, and you'll find out why a duck. It's deep water, that's viaduct.

Karl Marx:

	It was a historical inevitability.
	To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

Jackie Mason:

Whaddaya want, it should just stand there?

Perry Mason:

Cross the road you say? But how can you be sure? No one else would have known the chicken crossed the road except for the real killer!

Capt. Jack Maynard (Babylon 5):

"It lost the lock-on signal from the curb."

Dr. McCoy (Star Trek):

How should I know? Damnit Jim, I'm a Doctor not an ornithologist!

Katherine McKinnon:

Because, in this patriarchial state, for the last four centuries, men have applied their principles of justice in determining how chickens should be cared for, their language has demeaned the identity of the chicken, their technonogy and trucks have decided how and where chickens will be distributed, their science has become the basis for what chickens eat, their sense of humor has provided the framework for this joke, their art and film have given us our perception of chicken life, their lust for flesh has has made the chicken the most consumned animal in the US, and their legal system has left the chicken with no other recourse.

Marshall McLuhan:

The Road is the Medium.  The chicken is the Message!

Gregor Mendel:

To get various strains of roads.

A.A. Milne:

	While it crossed, it was humming a song about honey.
	I imagine that if I thought very hard I shouold come up with a reason. (also applicable to Winnie the Pooh)

John Milton:

To justify the ways of God to men.

Londo Mollari (Babylon 5):

I feel like I'm being nibbled to death by chickens!

Indigo Montoya:

It too pursues a man with six fingers on his left hand.

Morden (Babylon 5):

It was what the chicken wanted.

Michael Moriarity:

To annoy Janet Reno.

Jim Morrison:

To break on through to the other side, I am the chicken king.

Moses:

	And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
	Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

Harvey Mudd (Star Trek):

Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, there's been a terrible misunderstanding.

Fox Mulder:

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?