Chickegg.wmf (9610 bytes)

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Chickegg.wmf (9610 bytes)

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it should be).

Franz Kafka:

Dieter, now in the form of a chicken, was running from the government's torture machine. The machine, an instrument of death, slowly obliterated the souls of its victims. Dieter was alone. He was running for his life, his insignificant life.

Immanuel Kant:

The pure transcendental concept of the road, having been deduced a priori and without dependence on intuitions, is given in the mode of the chicken as an end in itself, while crossing the road as a hypothetical imperative, namely, as acting towards some end allowed by Reason.

Casey Kasem:

And now here's a hot new number from a hot young band whose drummer was so tragically killed in a freeway accident, it's The Hen House Flock singing "When You Gonna Crow?" hitting the charts at number 23!

JFK:

Let us never cross out of fear, but let us never fear to cross.
Ask not what the crossing will do for you - ask what you can do for the crossing.
The chicken chose to cross the road in this decade not because it was easy, but because it was hard.
And the chicken said, "Ich bin ein Berliner."

Senator Edward Moore "Teddy" Kennedy:

I panicked.

Obi Wan Kenobi:

Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me.
May the Force be with you.
To follow old Obi Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade.

Jack Kerouac:

The chicken hipster, high on tea and the soul groves of Charlie (the bird) Parker, strolled aimlessly on the road looking for his dharma.

Kes (Star Trek):

It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!

Khan (Star Trek):

With my last breath I spit at the chicken...

Omar Khayam:

The moving chicken fingers write, and having writ, move on.

Soren Kierkegaard:

The chicken is dead. The road is nothing.

Colonel Kilgore:

"I love the smell of chickens in the morning."

Martin Luther King, Jr.:

It had a dream.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Kira (Star Trek):

I bet those damn Cardassians were after it!
It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.

James T. Kirk (Star Trek):

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
You chicken bastard, you killed my son...YOU chicken BASTARD, you killed...my SON...you CHICKEN bastard....youkilledmy...son!

Ralph Klein:

Because we gave it a one-way bus ticket to B.C.

Knight Two (Babylon 5):

"Do you really expect us to believe it was to get to the other side? WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?"

Mark Knophler:

How come Chickens got Industrial Disease?

Lord Krishna:

A chicken cannot escape the force of action by abstaining from actions.
No chicken exists for even an instant without performing action; however unwilling, every chicken is forced to act by the qualities of nature.
To protect men of virtue and destroy men who do evil, to set the standard of sacred duty, the chicken crosses the road in age after age.
Even if the chicken is the most evil of all sinners, it will cross over all evil roads on the raft of knowledge.
One who crosses the road that must be crossed without concern for the fruits is a chicken of renunciation and discipline.
A chicken who crosses remembering me at the time of being hit by a truck enters my being when freed from its body.
I am the source of everything, and everything proceeds from me.
When the chicken dies in passion, it is born among lovers of action.
The chicken does not dislike headlights or crossing or delusion; when they cease to exist the chicken does not desire them.
Neither sun nor moon nor headlight illumines the chicken on the road - once there, it does not return.
The divine traits lead to crossing, the demonic to staying in bondage.
It does not disdain unskilled action nor cling to skilled action; in its lucidity the chicken is wise and its doubts are cut away.
If it listens in faith, finding no fault, a chicken is free and will cross to the cherished worlds of those who act in virtue.

 

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