Chickegg.wmf (9610 bytes)

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Chickegg.wmf (9610 bytes)

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it should be).

Hamlet:

To cross or not to cross the road, that is the question.
Because 'tis better to suffer in the mind the slings and arrows of outrageous road maintenance than to take arms against a sea of oncoming vehicles.

Thomas Hardy:

The road was black, the sky was white (and so were the feathers) as the bright red mark on the top of the chicken's head gleamed in the twilight. It was a pure chicken and it was doomed.

Joel Chandler Harris:

Brer Fox, he wink his eye slow, en lay low, en the chick'n, it ain't sayin' nothing en crossin' the road.
Bless grashus, honey, dat it didn't.  Who? It? You dunno nuthin' 'tall 'bout de chick'n crossin'.

Mike Harris, (Premier of Ontario):

Like everything else in this province, it was facing the axe.

Harry (Star Trek):

I don't know, it's my first mission.

Paul Harvey:

And now... page two... a chicken... attempts to cross... the street... yes... the street... and is... run down by a... Buick! The Buick Roadmaster with it's powerful perfomance and elegant style! Yes... that poor chicken... hit by the Buick... it's true... it's... true... and speaking of true... your local True Value Hardware Store...

Nathaniel Hawthorn:

Many characteristics - and those, too, which contribute not the least forcibly to impart resemblance in a sketch - must have vanished, or been obscured, before the chicken crossed the road with the burning scarlet letter on its breast.

Hegel:

Only through the synthesis of the dialectical chicken and road could the spirit transcend the experience of crossing.

Robert Heinlein:

Because with the freedom the chicken was given, it was the chicken's responsibility to do so.
The more widely dispersed chickens are throughout the Universe, the better the long-term prospects for the survival of the chicken species.

Werner Heisenberg:

We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
We could tell you how it crossed the road, but we couldn't tell you where.

Ernest Hemingway:

To die. In the rain. Alone.
They had made this crossing with the minimum of comfort. There was no hardship; but there was no luxury and the chicken had thought that it could get back into training that way.
Just when the chicken crossed the road the hyena stopped whimpering in the night and started to make a strange, human, almost crying sound.

Hippocrates:

Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Doug Hofstadter:

To seek explication of the correspondence between appearance and essence through the mapping of the external road-object onto the internal road-concept.

Sherlock Holmes:

It crossed the road because it was going to catch a train at Victoria Station at 3:15, to Edinburgh. And how did I know that? Observe, Watson, the patina of dust on the chicken's feathers, which indicates that it had been spending time in a library, reading about Scotland. And observe also that it was humming "Bonnie Lassie" as it waited to cross. Finally, and most important, observe the train ticket marked Edinburgh, stuffed under one wing, and the fact that Victoria station was where the chicken crossed the street, and finally that the only train to Edinburgh this afternoon is the 3:15....

HoloDoc (Star Trek):

How should I know? No one tells me anything around here! I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew! All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!
Maybe it was trying to state the nature of a medical emergency.

Mr. Homm (Star Trek):

........

Hugh the Borg (Star Trek):

Maybe it wanted to be my friend.
Maybe it just needed a big hug!

David Hume:

Out of custom and habit.

Saddam Hussein:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
It is the Mother of all Chickens.

 

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