Chickegg.wmf (9610 bytes)

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Chickegg.wmf (9610 bytes)

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it should be).

Lord Baden-Powell:

Because as a Chicken Scout, it needed the Road-Crossing Merit Badge.

Bilbo Baggins:

Oh what I wouldn't give to back in my nice, warm Hobbit-hole! I hope I never have to lay eyes on such a thing as that chicken again!

Baldrick:

It had a cunning plan.

The Band:

To take a load off....

The Bandit, in The Treasure of The Sierra Madre:

"Chickens? Chickens? We don't need no stinkin' chickens!"

Barclay (Star Trek):

Uh, chicken?!! Where?!!! C-c-c-ommander, did I ever mention my problem with small feathered things?

Clive Barker:

He was drawn to the road, and he didn't so much cross the road as the road crossed him. And once across, the chicken entered into a frightening void, filled only with the screams of a thousand  agonized souls. The hands of doom reached out of the blackness, strangling the chicken, smothering him, suffocating him. He could not escape, as no one who crosses the road can escape. He was now a prisoner of the Cenobytes, doomed to an eternity of pain.

Roseanne Barr:

Urrrrrp. What chicken?

Cantina Bartender (Star Wars):

We don't serve their kind in here. Your chickens they'll have to wait across the street.

Dr. Bashir (Star Trek):

I suppose it wanted to play some darts.
It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers.

The Beatles:

To be free as a bird!

B'Elanna (Star Trek):

I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the [BEEP] regulations of [BEEP] Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!

Lavrenti Beria (ex-head of the KGB):

This is a State Secret -- we have informants everywhere.

Aunt Beru (Star Wars):

He can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have already crossed. It means so much to him.

Bester (Babylon 5):

(to the chicken) Why did you have to cross the road? We are your family. We raised you, clothed you. We are your father and mother. Don't force us to do this.... (the chicken squawks in mortal terror)

Biggs (Star Wars):

At that speed, will you be able to cross in time?

Bill The Cat:

Ack. Thpppbt

Blackadder:

Queenie: Because I told it to.
Percy: To acquire a hunk of purest green
Lord Flasheart: To DOOOOOOOOO IT!

The Borg (Star Trek):

Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.

Lucien Bouchard:

So that it could be SEPARATE!

Ben Bova:

To be reunited with beautiful grey-eyed Athena, the woman he has loved for all the time.

Brisco (Law and Order):

For A Bagel

Dr. Emmett Brown:

Road? Where we're going we don't need roads!

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and Bruce:

To grab a Fosters and get away from the poofters!

Pat Buchanan:

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Buddha:

If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Bugs Bunny:

What's up, chick?

Archie Bunker:

I don't care what them there chickens do, as long as they stay on THEIR side of the street!

Robert Burns:

Fair Fa Your Honest Sonsie Face
Great Chieftain O' The Chicken Race
The blackened road 'ahind ye said
Ye best run quick ere ye be deid!

George Bush:

If it did, it was out of the loop.
It could see the thousand points of headlights...
Read my chicken lips. To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.
The Cold War began with the chicken's separation from the other side of the road.  It can only end when the chicken is on the other side.

Rhett Butler:

Frankly my dear, it didn't give a damn!

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1998 Ervin Nemeth. All rights reserved.