Chickegg.wmf (9610 bytes)

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Chickegg.wmf (9610 bytes)

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why do chickens cross roads?
The most comprehensive listing on the Web (or so it should be).

Admiral Ackbar (Star Wars):

All chickens - prepare to cross the road on my mark.

Douglas Adams:

Forty-Two

Woody Allen:

The chicken wanted sex.
The chicken's religion prohibits the crossing.
For $8 1/2 I could even have sex with that chicken.

Andersen Consultant:

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Business Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) B.C. helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

Business Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with B.C. consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

Business Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Aesop:

The Rooster and the Jewel: A rooster, scratching for food for himself and his hens, found a precious stone and exclaimed: "If your owner had found you, and not I, he would have taken you up, and have set you in your first estate; but I have found you for no purpose. I would rather have one barleycorn than all the jewels in the world."   And so he crossed the road hoping that there is food there.
The chicken and its dog: A chicken about to set out on a journey saw its dog stand at the door stretching himself. The chicken asked him sharply: "Why do you stand there gaping? Everything is ready but you, so come with me instantly." The dog, wagging his tail, replied: "O, master! I am quite ready; it is you for whom I am waiting."

(The loiterer often blames delay on his more active friend.)
The dog and the chicken: A hound having started a chicken on the hillside pursued her across the road, at one time biting her with his teeth as if he would take her life, and at another fawning upon her, as if in play with another dog. The chicken said to him, "I wish you would act sincerely by me, and show yourself in your true colors. If you are a friend, why do you bite me so hard? If an enemy, why do you fawn on me?'

(No one can be a friend if you know not whether to trust or distrust him.)
The chickens and the lions: The chicken gave a speech at the assembly of animals, and argued that all should be equal in crossing the road. The lions made this reply: "Your words, oh chicken, are good; but they lack both claws and teeth such as we have."

Earnest Angsley:

To be HAYELED! in the name o'Jayeeezus!

Marcus Antonius:

The evil that chickens do lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones.

Any Calculus Professor:

The road, if expressed in the form (y2-y1)/(x2-x1) is approximate for cases where lim(y2-y1)/(x2-x1) as (x2-x1) -> 0, is represented by the derivative, or rate of change, of the road with respect to the chicken, such that the value of the chicken may be assumed equal to the value of (y2-y1)/(x2-x1), for small values of roads.

Any Late Evening News Anchor:

The chicken crosses the road. Film at 11:00.
Stay tuned as we present this historical event.

Any Philosophy 101 Professor:

Why not?

Aristotle:

To actualize its potential.

Neil Armstrong:

One small step for chickenkind, one giant leap for poultry.

King Arthur of the Britons:

What do you mean? African or European chickens?

Paul Atreidies:

What name have you for the chicken shaped stain upon your road? That shall be the name that you shall call me!

Jane Austen:

Because it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single chicken, being posessed of a good fortune and presented with a good road, must be desirous of crossing.

 

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1998 Ervin Nemeth. All rights reserved.